Fairly often, this is a women’s issue. Modern day women “do it all,” they clean, they work, they nurture the children, and with some free time made, they cook. It is ideally important that all tasks be shared between both parties so that stress levels can be decreased. However, it is not always so cut and dry. Men might not understand exactly what it is their partner wants, so they either do the task incorrectly or give up altogether. It’s important that tasks and their priority are well communicated, and responsibilities are shared. There are a few points that a husband or partner should consider when feeling “nagged” about cleaning:
When you participate in housework tasks, you are telling your mate that it is just as important to you as it is to them. Acknowledging the necessity for cleanliness shows that you are giving it value. Not only are you giving cleanliness value, but you are giving your partner value because it is meaningful to them.
If you like drama and controversy try having a read of this article about getting your spouse to help clean.
You are setting an excellent example for your children. If you have a girl, you are showing her that it is not solely her responsibility to keep a tidy house. If you have a boy, you are showing him that it is ok, for a man to share responsibilities with his mate.
Every woman appreciates her mates help, especially if she does not have to ask consistently for it.
Have a positive attitude when cleaning, the atmosphere remains positive if you are releasing positive energy rather than fussing or complaining about doing the work.
Create “together time” while doing housework, you can discuss how the day went, how the kids are doing, and even future plans.
If you know, you hate to do housework, just simply consider your mates feelings. What are you “actually” saying to her when you ignore her requests for help? What are you saying to her when you allow her to clean, knowing she’s had a long day? Always be loving and considerate of your partner’s feelings.
If you allow your relationship to suffer, out of stubbornness and you break up or divorce, you will then be forced to do the work yourself. Just go ahead, cut your losses and creatively transform them into a win?
Women, if you truly want your husbands/mate to be more involved:
Ask him – A lot of the times, women will come home from work, begin cooking and immediately follow up with cleaning. If you are doing everything and really haven’t thought to ask, simply because you think he should be a mind reader, you’re not truly fair. At least give him the benefit of the doubt and ask for the help. He might just surprise you.
Allow him to play the music he likes-Often times in order to get motivated his favorite music will help when mustering the energy.
Do Not give your mate a list- No adult likes to be treated like a kid in their own house. Mention to him the things that need to be cleaned and allow him to complete the task using his own discretion. Even if you have to go behind him, it won’t be as much work as it originally was in the beginning.
Don’t go on strike – If you discontinue cleaning that will not make him want to start doing “your” work. It will either make him frustrated or he will remain content. Either way, is not good for you because work piles up and eventually SOMEONE has to do it. Remember to always communicate the need for help.
Don’t make demands on the time it should be done- if you are standing over him requiring that a task gets handled when and how you say, this could result in a very bad argument and loss of respect. Remember he is NOT your child (even if you feel he sometimes acts like one). He has opinions, dignity, and self-respect he does not need his partner barking orders.
Focus on his accomplishments rather than his failures- if you shoot down his efforts, he will be less inclined to want to help again. Let him know that you appreciate his help, and love him for taking some pressure off you. If you find that he does not clean the dishes to “your standards” let him clean something else that he is good at, so that the mood in the house can remain positive.
Don’t nag – No one likes to be bossed around or constantly told to do something over and over again. Be sure to recommend or request and keep your tone free of anger. He knows what he is supposed to be doing because you have already told him. If he needed you to remind him, he would ask. Allow him to go at his own pace. If you find yourself feeling impatient never hesitate to complete the task yourself. It will reduce headache and anxiety.
Demonstrate what you would like done, and how you would like to have it done – never assume that your mate knows how to do something simply because they’ve “seen” you do it before. Watching is not always the same as doing, and what’s “common” to one person is not always so “common” to the next. Show him, and allow him to work from there.
Intensify your appreciation- hearing a few “thank yous” and “what an awesome job” never hurt anyone. How often do you find yourself doing an overabundance of things and never once getting acknowledgment or appreciated for it? A simple “wow you’re amazing” is enough to boost anyone’s esteem. Both parties should show ample Thanks for being exactly who you are.
Consider marriage counseling – If you find that none of your efforts to get your mate on board with helping around the house seems to be working, marriage counseling might unveil some of the deeper issues in the relationship.
Still need more ideas on how to get your spouse to help you to clan your house, have a read of this article from how to clean stuff.